Why don't you get it?

I had a fabulous talk with someone last night about how the majority of the community (M/s community, that is) just don't 'get it.' While this has been a reoccuring bitch of mine, it is comforting to know that I am not alone. Someone else sees the bullshit for what it is and is just as frustrated by it.

I would thank him more personally but so far he has not joined the dark side and become one of my fabulous readers. Yet. I'm working on it. muahahahaha, Join the dark side! We have cookies!

Now, here is the list...

1) We are not a fucking therapy group. Seriously. M/s does not replace therapy. Not everything can be solved by a relationship or a beating or a good deep dicking.

2) We do not cure addiction. If you are an addict - seek fucking help. See rule 1. If you are addicted then you're a slave to that addiction. Thus, you are now useless to your community until you GET HELP.

3) It's not all going to fulfill you. Doing laundry is just not deeply fucking fulfilling. Still has to be done. Suck it up and do what you have to do like the adult you claim to be.

4) It's not all intensity. If you're looking for that constant adrenaline high - go ride rollercoasters or something. Really, we're not THAT exciting.

5) It's not abuse. Stop telling me that men abuse me. They don't.

6) It's really not consentual. That's the line we use but.. it's not accurate. The whole 'obey or leave' thing becomes just 'obey' in long term M/s. The idea that we could leave doesn't compute.

7) It's okay to be a doormat. For every woman who screams to the high heavens about how she's a slave but not a doormat, there is a woman who doesn't understand a damn thing. Put the fucking ego and pride thing away and learn what slavery can be.

8) He is not obligated to love you. Really.

9) Sometimes, it just isn't fair. Sucks, don't it? Such is life. Suck it up, buttercup.

10) If you are a slave to someone on a computer that you've never met then YOU'RE NOT A SLAVE. Seriously.

11) If you've never owned a slave then you don't get to participate in discussions without saying that. Cause, guess what, your opinions are just theories. Untested theories.

12) Owning a slave online doesn't count.

13) It's not about the sex. Though.. the sex is a really nice perk. Yay perks.

Yeah, there's others but 13 is such a nice place to stop.

Oh, totally off topic.. thing I learned.. I cannot fist myself. Even with lots of lube and a mirror for help.

Hey, boobies are bad!!!

I spent the day at the beach. It was lovely. I have pictures that I'll now promise to post and then forget about, like always. So nyah.

Got home and Hawkke called to take me to a movie. I went to leave and grandpa made me change first. I cant wear lowcut tops at night. Boobies in darkness give men bad thoughts!! lol

In other news - Men who stare at goats is a very fucked up movie.

Day four...

My cough is worse. This sucks. It has to get better soon, right?

So.. onto the daily lesson ...

... little old men will attempt to pick me up at the gym.

... Im starting to find little old men really creepy.

... My grandfather thinks the neighborhood has gone downhill because a black person moved in.

... I swear grandpa must think it's the 1930s or something.

... Claire will try to feed me HOURLY and it's always crap that isn't on my diet.

... No matter how often I say no, she still tries.

... Hiding in my bedroom is good for my sanity,

... The giant mirror on my bedroom wall leads me to VERY naughty ideas.

... I really must get Master Rap over to the giant mirror.

Ughs

So...

The air quality is so bad in Las Vegas that after living there for several years my lungs cannot adjust to oxygen. Or.. something like that. I've spent two days coughing shit out of my lungs and it'll be days before that stops.

My lungs feel like sandpaper. I'm trying to run every day without keeling over from oxygen deprivation. The humidity is not helping with this. Everyone keeps saying how non-humid it is since the humidity is under 70%, Oh, and they wear jackets and say it's cold. It's fucking humid and hitting the low 80s every day. Yeesh.

I got new jeans yesterday that actually fit. It's nice wearing clothes that aren't too big on me. Yay.

Shopping with my family has made me realize that we define things differently. When I say 'I'm broke' I mean that I have no money. When they say it they mean that they can't buy more than one new car that year.. or maybe two. I like their definition MUCH better.

Day Two...

And our saga continues as...

... I am sent to bed last night at midnight.

... I am told I definitely have a curfew as long as I'm going out without Master Rap.

... I am informed that if you rub a black person you get good luck.

... I learn that my lungs will NOT obey me when I try to run.

... Grandpa offers to send me to Cali. Apparently we've spent enough time together now.

... I get put on display for grandpa's girlfriend's friends like a trained pet.

Um... oh wait..I am a trained pet. Nevermind that last one. :)

Day One,,,

I am at grandpa's house now.

Ive been here for slightly over 24 hours now.

Ive learned....

... that there is such a thing as a Bing Crosby marathon. Dear gods.

... my father's brother was VERY flamboyantly gay, according to my grandfather. He died of AIDS years ago.

... I have chores!

... No one will let me have the remote!! Arghs!!

... My family will try to force feed me.

... According to grandpa's girlfriend, running makes your vagina fall off.

Things Ive Learned..

I haven't done this in ages but...

1) I have definitely become a Vegas native because even when it's friggin freezing, all I wear for shoes is flip flops

2) I CANNOT type with nails. Arghs.

3) my grandfather still treats me like Im 12 years old.

4) I cannot manage to pack without packing wayyyyyy too much stuff.

5) I still really enjoy making morons cry. Mmmmmm

Dear Joanne

It is time for somebody to be perfectly blunt with you. Since Leah is too polite, and Leah's Owner doesn't seem to be willing to, it falls to me. I remember Leah's Owner stopped sleeping with you. I rememeber why he did it. Since he never felt the need to tell you I thought I would share.

First, you live to far away and are just to inconvient. That should tell you something.

Second, he even he fully admitted that you are mentally unstable. Let's address that second point shall we? I've read your entire blog, you have a voice in your head that told you to hurt somebody (June post).

You seem to be madly attached to four different men. None of whom seem to want you all that much. You might not see that as an issue, but from an outside perspective you seem like a lover and more like a crazed stalker.

You wonder why he doesn't have time for you. It is because he has time for the two women he actually cares about. When you wonder why he doesn't answer his phone all that often, it might be because he would rather spent time with the women he cares about.

The more you push the more likely you are to destroy the remains of your friendship with Leah's Owner. Frankly, I hope you do. Dealing with your constant emotional neediness is exhausting for anyone.

It is not that you need a man my dear it is that you need serious therapy.

And one last thing, I didn't show Leah your blog to pick at her. I showed her your blog because there is serious concern about your stability. She is my and her Owner's priority, you are just an annoyance that won't go away.

Love,
Nyx

The gods are laughing..

The laptop I was using died a screaming death. My desktop does not connect to the internet since I turned off the internet connection I was using and I don't have the damn DRIVER for the wireless usb thingie.

This leaves me with no internet unless I steal Leah's computer. Normally, this wouldn't be an issue. However, it's NaNoWrimo month... so the computer is surgically attached to her body 99% of the time.

This leaves me.. well.. fucked in the not squishy way.

Thankfully, I'll be getting a netbook when I get to Florida. 5 days and Ill be in the bosom of my family.

Translation: 5 day and Ill have a curfew like i was a friggin teenager and be sleeping in a pink, frilly bedroom. Heeeeeeeeeeeeelp me!!

The insanity begins

It is November First. This means that I have started Nano. Nano is the National Write a Novel in a Month. It is 50,000 words in thirty days.

Thus, I will be insane.

Granted, I will only be in vegas for part of the month. I'm going home to Florida for a while and then.. onward to other things. I am still going to get my damn word count, though.

This means I likely won't sleep til December. Joy.